An exercise in futility
I’ve spent more of the last 20 years writing about my existential crisis over not writing than I have actually writing. Hopefully this will be some small step towards rebalancing that equation. I suppose the key is not to expect too much from it.
Some of this will be seeds of ideas that can maybe later be repurposed into pitches for articles. Some of them will be half-formed mildly clever observations or personal stories that otherwise will never see the light of day. And some will be barely more than Facebook posts (or in fact just actual Facebook posts I’ve found worthwhile to recycle from the archives).
A brief history…
2005: Friends commenting on my Xanga suggest that I should start using it to write more seriously, but I get stuck thinking of a subject of focus.
2010-15: People commenting on my social media posts suggest I should start a blog, but I repeatedly psych myself out trying to think of a clever name.
2018-21: Friends hearing my podcast guest appearances suggest I should start my own podcast or Substack, but the whole thing seems cliche, oversaturated, and demoralizing.
2025: I have a few articles published under my name and have finally run out of excuses not to take my own writing seriously.
One of the reasons I put this off for so long was that it was unbearable to face the reality of having wasted so much time, of starting so late, of knowing that I could have easily done this years ago. To do it now is to accept the full weight of that failure, the knowledge that those years can never be brought back, and ultimately the fact of my own mortality. And after that comes the hard part…